Couples therapy is a very helpful tool for partners facing all sorts of challenges. It can help you learn how to communicate better, resolve conflict more efficiently, maintain a healthy sex life and more. Honestly, what’s not to love?
And, like many good things in life, it also provides fodder for humor. Many folks on Twitter have shared their takes on the couples counseling experience ― from imagined scenarios to relatable anecdotes to one-liners.
Below, we’ve rounded up some funny and relatable tweets about couples therapy:
Me: What’s the score, who’s winning?
Therapist: Ok so that’s really not how couples counseling works.
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 31, 2017
Wears an “I’m with stupid” shirt to marriage counseling.
— Marl (@Marlebean) June 9, 2016
Me: I just don’t see how Luigi could afford a mansion like that on a plumber’s salary, especially since he worked for his brother
Wife: see what I mean?
Therapist: shut up for a second he has a point
— The Dad (@thedad) March 2, 2019
HER: He’s always talking down to me
ME: *heavy sigh* It’s called being condescending but I doubt you knew that, Karen
— Floyd is dead (@dafloydsta) November 24, 2015
Therapist: So why…why are you…here?
Me: My wife thinks I’m immature
T: And has she…has she actually CAN YOU STOP DOING THAT??!!
M: (I put the bubble wrap down)
— The Personification of nEvil (@TheAlexNevil) February 21, 2018
therapist: what do you each think makes a relationship work?
Me: a fully stocked pantr –trust.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) May 11, 2015
*Bob the Builder takes Wendy’s hand at couples therapy*
…Can we fix it?
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) July 16, 2016
Couples therapy 1999: he doesn’t tell me I’m pretty anymore
Couples therapy 2017: he hasn’t liked one of my tweets in like 8 months
— kim monte 🏳️🌈 (@KimmyMonte) May 7, 2017
HER: He keeps pretending he’s a doctor. This relationship is dead
HIM: I’m calling it. Time of death, 9:26
ME: OMG SEE!
— Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) July 31, 2015
She doesn’t think I’m very romantic
“He wears a fanny pack to bed”
IT’S FOR HOLDING SNACKS, KAREN
— Floyd is dead (@dafloydsta) August 28, 2017
THERAPIST: why do you want to end your marriage?
ME: she uses the flesh colored emojis instead of the default yellow ones
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) May 20, 2018
When you say something like that, I feel like YOU’RE A DAMN MORON.
(This marriage counseling is really helping me express myself better.)
— 〰 Just Linda 〰 (@LindaInDisguise) October 13, 2013
You think you have a good marriage? Well, at couples therapy my wife and I threw our shoulders out from high-fiving each other so much!
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) August 25, 2012
[at couples therapy]
“He’s always so suspicious.”
I am not.
“You patted my father down for a wire at Christmas.”
He has a moustache.
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) January 3, 2015
My wife just made me put the fitted sheet on the bed by myself so I guess we are going back to couples counseling.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) February 23, 2013
I guess it all started when I saw him put the toothpaste on before the water…
*therapist scribbles furiously*
— Marl (@Marlebean) July 28, 2015
Her: HE’S CHEATING!
Therapist: Let’s hear his side
Him: EVERYONE KNOWS YOU SAY “SHOOT” AFTER ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS KAREN!
— Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) April 12, 2016
(at marriage counseling)
Him: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!
Me: Why are you afraid? What do you think will happen if you refill the soap dispenser?
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) December 19, 2016
It was close, then a tie, then we went into overtime, but I emerged victorious. I did it – I won couples therapy!
— Sarah Thyre (@SarahThyre) February 25, 2012